The Fragile
by peteylove
Summary: yeah yeah another sister fic. hard to explain so just read the first chap its very short and a better summary
1. Chapter 1

The Fragile

Chapter 1

Okay so yeah I did sister fic. I just had too though. This movie was absolutely amazing and I hate the fact that I only found out about it a week ago.

"Hey Lex!" I clambered into our cramped apartment.

"I'm in the kitchen!" she yelled back at me.

She was sitting on the dryer with her legs crossed underneath her and a notebook on her lap.

"What do you want for breakfast?" I started to pull down some pans.

"Pancakes," she said lazily as she scribbled away.

"Sounds good. What are you working on?"

"Nothing much," she smiled up at me with one of her rare genuine smiles.

"Whatever." I had just poured the first batch when the phone rang.

Lex grabbed the phone from the wall and answered it without ever looking up from her notebook. "Yeappers… Hey Jerry what's up …Yeah I'm sitting down, what is Camille pregnant again?"

There was a long pause. Alexa's caramel face had turned as pale as mine. Her body went rigid and her face completely empty. She started to shake and the phone fell out of her hand. I could hear Jerry yelling her name.

I put one hand on her arm and put the phone to my ear with the other. "What's going on?"

"Jackie," he said in a soft tone, "Mom was killed."

I slid to my knees and dropped the phone as well. My fist clenched and I started to shake in that same way. Alexa had learned it from me after all.

I was brought back to reality when the smoke alarm went off. I threw open the window and dumped our burnt breakfast into the sink.

Jerry was still on the line and yelling our names alternately. "I'll call you back in a bit," I hung up before he could say goodbye. I wrapped my arms around Lex. Her body was so tense and she was barely even breathing. It was so hard to get her to come down from these episodes. "Lex, breathe," I said softly as I rubbed her back she relaxed a little but was still extremely out of it. "Please Lexie," I pulled back and stared into her blue eyes. They were staring at something far from here. "Damn it Lexie!" I picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. I hated to do this to her but it was the only way to snap her out of it. I started to fill the tub with cold water as I continued to hold her. Once it was full enough I dropped her in.

She took a deep gasping breath in and gripped the edges of the tub. I kneeled down and stared at her over the rim. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she panted.

I got up and sat down on the toilet. When she gets real bad like this she stays in the tub until she's almost numb with cold. Weird I know but it sure beats the alternative. After fifteen minutes she leaned forward and I took this as my cue to help her out.

She stood on the mat shaking violently and with purple lips chattering. I helped her pull off her wet clothes and wrapped a towel around her.

The alternative is what lines her body. For years, after we moved in with mom, Al would carve perfect rows of lines into her arms, chest, sides and stomach. It was how she dealt with the emotions. The ones she rarely showed these days.

She looked up at me with those intense blue eyes. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly.

"No, but we will be okay eventually."

I called Jerry back when she fell asleep on the couch. He had set everything up for mom's funeral; all we had to do was show up… and find Bobby.

Tell me what you think. I know its short but I'll be back with more manana chicos.

Peteylove


	2. Chapter 2

The Fragile

Chapter 2

Alexa was the only one of us to actually talk to Bobby in over two years. He just disappears without ever telling anybody, except Al, of where he is going.

She woke up late that night and started to shuffle around, slightly dazed. I ushered her over to the breakfast bar and sat her down. I made her her favorite, chai tea, and sat down next to her. Letting her talk when she was ready.

A few sips later she looked at me with glistening eyes, "I don't understand. I talked to Ma two days ago. She was making dinner for those two kids who come over on Sundays. Everything was fine, she sounded so happy…so alive."

I went to put my arm around her but she pulled away. "Can you call Bobby?" I asked after a long silence.

"Yeah," she looked at the clock for a second. "He should be up," she slid off the chair and went into the kitchen.

"I can tell him if you want, I just didn't know how to reach him."

"It's okay, I'll do it." She picked up the phone and dialed slowly. "Hi Bobby…uhm…uhm..."

I stood up and walked towards her but she put her hand up.

"Mom was killed," she quickly wiped away the single tear that had managed to fall. "When is the funeral?" she asked me.

"Thursday," I leaned back against the wall.

She repeated this to him, said bye then hung up the phone. "He said he'll be there." She opened one of the cabinets and pulled out her bottle of sleeping pills. She took a one then headed off to bed without another word.

Lex didn't speak for the next few days.

Ten hours of complete silence and we were back home.

"Hey Jackie," Bobby smiled as he approached me. He was trying hard to keep a straight face, the edges of his lips twitching in protest. He grabbed me and gave me a tight hug. "How's Lexie?" he looked pass me and into the car.

Alexa was still staring out the passenger window. Watching the cars pull up in the funeral lot. Her face was as empty as ever.

"It's bad. She hasn't been like this since we first moved in with Ma."

Bobby went around to her side of the car and opened her door. She didn't even seem to notice that he was there. He kneeled down to her level and started to whisper to her. I pulled out a cig and watched Bobby work his magic. A few minutes later she looked down at him. He pulled her out of the car and wrapped his arms around her.

"I promise you that everything is going to be okay," I heard him say.

"Jack," I heard Jerry come up behind me. We hugged and he led Bobby, Lex and I over to where the family sat.

The pastor spoke a little then let us come up one by one to say something about mom, Jerry went first.

"Evelyn was in the city for a long time. She saw a lot that was terrible but she stayed hopeful. She stilled believed that things were getting better…"

Al had put her hand over mine. It was only then did I realize that I had zoned out and was digging my nails into my knees.

Jerry had just finished and was walking back to his seat by Camille. Al gave my hand a slight squeeze before I made my way to the podium.

"Cracker Jack," said Bobby as I walked by.

"I never bothered looking for my real parents because Evelyn was enough… When Evelyn took me it was no different from any of the foster homes. Until one day when she caught me with my pockets full of food. She said…" I started to cry "She said that I didn't have to …" Lexie got up and stood beside me. She wrapped her fingers around my pinky and started to talk.

"Jack and I weren't the easiest to take care of. But mom loved us unconditionally from the second we walked into her home. She did what no one else had ever done for us, she just gave a damn," she buried her face in my chest and started to shake. Bobby jumped up and approached us.

"Mom was never big on goodbye so thank you all for coming and god bless," he said as he ruffled my hair then put a hand on Lex's back.

Everyone slowly dispersed and headed back to Jerry's house.

"Jackie."

I felt Lex grab my arm. I looked down into her forever empty blue eyes. She grabbed the cigarette out of my hand and took a deep puff. I watched her purse her lips and slowly blow the smoke out, her body relaxing with the exhale.

"You okay?" I heard Bobby's voice right as hand reached up and grabbed my shoulder.

I nodded a yes and looked over at Lex who had sucked down most of the cigarette. She was starring at the people walking up to the house. I could tell that she was studying their faces, trying to figure out which one to put on.

"You know I love you guys?"

I nodded again, still watching Lex. She dropped the cig and crushed it under her foot. With a still empty face, she walked off towards the house.

When we got to the door I found Lex in a tight embrace with one of mom's friends. Well the lady was tightly wrapped around Lex; she instead was just standing there with her arms at her side. She gently pulled away and put on a smile that I knew was fake but it passed for the lady. Jerry invited us in and we headed out to the back.

***

The initial shock of things had started to fade. At least I think it had. This stuff is difficult for me. I know that no one takes death easily but this was the first time that I ever had to deal with it. It's so much easier to just push everything away…

After avoiding a few more hugs I went out back to find Bobby and Jackie boy.

Amelia and Daniela ran off with the dog as Lt. Green approached Bobby and Jack. I stood next to Jack as he and Bobby exchange pleasantries with Green and his partner.

"Hey Alexa," Green smiled as he reached for me.

I jumped back without meaning to. "Sorry, old habits die hard," I smiled weakly and gave him a gentle hug.

"Thanks for coming, Green. Ma would have been happy you made it to the service," Bobby spoke up.

"Shit, your mom would've been happy you made it back for her funeral," Green chuckled a little.

"I didn't come back for no funeral," Bobby retorted.

There was a pause of silence before Green's sidekick stepped up and said, "Thanks for the offer but we have it taken care of."

"I can see that. Detroit looks way different. Its finest really cleaned up the place. I used to make good money around here because cops couldn't find tits in a strip club," Bobby growled and Jack started to snicker. "Why don't you come inside, have a donut and some coffee then get the hell out of here. Come on," he tapped Jack and looked over at me.

Jack and I followed without protest.

"So, shit, Bobby what you been up to?" Jack asked as we walked up onto Mom's porch.

"I'm a freak'n college professor, what you think I've been doing," I heard Bobby answer as I fiddled with the keys in the dark.

"I doubt that," laughed Jack.

"What about you? You still sucking a little cock left and right, or what?"

We all started to laugh while Jack mumbled, "Fucker," at Bobby.

Someone turned on the light as I proceeded to open the next door.

"Y'all just going to leave me out in the cold?"

"Yo little brother, you asshole, you missed mom's funeral," said Bobby as he approached him.

I went on to open the door and step inside. It was so weird. Jack and I hadn't been back home since we moved to Brooklyn a few years ago. But mom had left everything exactly the same. Almost as if she just expected us to just come home and pick up where we left off.

"Hey baby sis," Angel came up behind me and wrapped me in his signature bear hug.

"Hey," I said quietly as I pulled away and moved further into the house.

There was an open book on the coffee table. She hadn't even gotten three chapters into it.

"Jack and Al, you guys take your room. Angel you take yours and I'll sleep in Ma's," Bobby ordered.

Bobby grabbed my duffle off the floor and headed upstairs followed by Angel and Jack. Jerry sat back on the couch. I watched his eyes linger over the book for a second to long and I knew he was thinking the same as me.

"You want anything?" I asked as I started towards the kitchen.

Jerry stood up and followed me. in the fridge we found a half empty gallon of milk, some eggs, half a loaf of bread and some other food that she would never get to finish.

"I'm going to run to the store and get some stuff. At least we can pretend to have a real thanksgiving, like mom would have wanted," he smiled and squeezed my shoulder.

"Sounds good," I turned and headed upstairs.

*** I am so sorry that it's taken over a year to update. That will never ever happen again. Tell me what ya think***


	3. Chapter 3

The Fragile

Okay so it hasn't been a whole year but I guess long enough. Sorry about that. It's my last year of college and things have been hectic. Anyways…

* Trigger warning *

Chapter 3

I checked my face again, in the mirror, to make sure there were no signs of my crying. I could hear Jackie in his room so I headed down the hall to see him.

"You been in here crying, you little fairy?" I asked as I sat down by the edge of his bed.

"Leave it alone, man," he strummed his guitar one last time before putting down.

Al walked in with that same damn blank look on her face and sat on the edge of Jackie's bed. "Make me one too," she said as she scooted back so that she was sitting next to him. I looked up to see him pull a small pouch out of his jacket.

"Too weird in mom's room?" Jack asked.

"Oh, man, way too weird."

Jerry suddenly came in and stood in the doorway.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, man. Just happy to see my family together is all," he answered.

"Yeah."

"Hey I was thinking of running to the store and picking up a few things. We can have a real thanksgiving dinner like mom would have wanted."

"Sounds good Jerry," I reply as Angel leans up against the door frame.

I lit up the cig and took a puff before handing it to Lex.

"It's real heavy in there so I'm just going go outside and get some fresh air," said Angel.

Lex started to laugh hysterically, "Tell Sofie that I say hi."

"What are you talking about?" he tried to put on his best confused look.

"What do you mean what? You know exactly what we're talking about, that La Vida Loca," Bobby started to laugh as well.

"Ain't nobody going to get the La Vida Loca nothing," he spat back at us knowing we had caught him in a lie.

"She has a boyfriend," Jerry said knowingly.

"She's got a boyfriend, she's got hard dick in her right now. She screaming somebody else's name and the last thing she's doing is thinking about is your black ass."

Angel just walked off, without another word.

Jerry watched him go grinning ear to ear. "Alright I better head home, Camille and the girls are waiting for me."

Bobby got up and walked him out. Al crawled out of my bed grabbed her bottle of sleeping pills and swallowed one before grabbing a hoodie and shorts and heading off to the bathroom.

I went back to tuning my guitar.

Alexa weakly smiled a goodnight before stuffing head phones into her ears and curling up into her own bed.

Bobby came back half an hour later. "She okay?" Bobby looked over at Alexi's side of the room. She was sleeping with her back to us and we could easily hear the base of her MP3.

"You know how she is," I flipped through a Rolling Stone mag.

"Keep an eye on her for me, Jackie." He leaned down to kiss her forehead and she moved away from his touch and whimpered. "She still doing this?"

"Shit like that doesn't go away," I shrugged.

"Just watch her okay."

"Don't worry Bobby."

I was awake, the drugs had worn off and I was drowning.

I slipped out of bed as quietly as possible and went to the bathroom. Ma had never found my stash. They were still securely tapped behind the sink. I opened the small cardboard package and laid a fresh blade on the sink counter.

My hands shacked as I pulled my hoodie off, leaving me in just shorts and a sports bra. My heart was pounding against my chest. I gripped the blade, holding it firmly between my thumb, pointer and middle finger.

There was this ach growing in my chest, I needed the pain. I needed it to feel again. I needed it to let it go. I pushed the blade down into the unmarked skin by my belly button I jerked the blade to the right and felt the sweet relief. I needed more or I would be consumed by the hurt. So I kept going digging deeper and deeper with each cut. At some point I had started to cry and a minute after that there was a knock on the door.

"Just a sec," my voice cracked deceiving me.

"You okay Al?" asked Bobby.

"I'm fine just give me a second." I grabbed the closest towel and pressed it against my belly. Blood was already starting to seep through the frayed fibers. "Shit," I whispered. My heart now racing for an entirely different reason.

"Open the door," Bobby said slowly and with authority.

"Just give me a fucking second," I was panicking. I looked around for another towel that was thicker.

"Alexa open the god damn door!"

"Fuck off Bobby!"

I heard whispering behind the door while I pressed one of Ma's "good" towels over the wounds.

"Hey Al you wanna let me in?" Jack asked.

I sighed and stood behind the door while I opened it just enough for Jackie to squeeze through he shut the door behind him much to Bobby's protest.

He picked me up and sat me on the counter. "Let me see."

I looked up into his eyes begging him silently to just let it be.

"No let me see," he placed his hand over my hand that was holding the towel in place.

I relented and he pulled my hand away than the towel. He sighed, kissed my forehead than grabbed the gauze and tape out of the medicine cabinet.

Sadly he was a pro at this and hand me bandaged up in no time. He wrapped his arms around me.

"This isn't how we deal. I know this hurts but you can't hurt yourself," I whispered into her ear than moved so that I was looking her in the eye. "Okay?"

"Okay," she slid off the counter and put her hoddie back on.

As soon as we stepped out the bathroom Bobby started in on her. "Damn it Al…"

"Not now," I cut him off and led her back into the room closing the door behind us. She crawled into my bed and I wrapped my arms around her.

"I'm sorry Jackie," she whispered after a few minutes.

"It's okay Lexxi."

She leaned back into me and slept soundly.

*okay so a bit heavy. Sorry for the long delay.

You see that button right there? No the other one. No the other other one. Yeah the one that say review chapter. You got it.


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